About a year ago, I started writing a story after a strong impression. It wasn’t a particularly happy story – it was a story that was initially meant to condemn the blood-lust and military adventurism that has characterized American politics for the last 80ish years. As I put the pieces together, it gelled around a protagonist who experienced some of the darkest aspects of conflict. I found writing it to be very difficult. However, I kept writing it as a means of sharing emotions and difficulties I couldn’t share otherwise. It was a sensationalized and amplified retelling of stuff I … Read the rest
Stuck
Protected: Satan’s Laugh: Part 14 – Maggie’s House
I did it
I’ve spent the last three years trying to decide if it was worth it to be on Facebook or other social media platforms. There have been times it let me know about major life events for friends and family I wouldn’t have known about otherwise. It has allowed me to keep in touch with folks who would have otherwise been lost in the chaos that has been the last 20 years. However, it has also been the cause of waste and unhappiness.
A while ago, I wrote about a decision to cut way back on it (https://www.diligent5.org/?p=2069). As … Read the rest
Anxiety
I can't give reason It doesn't matter though Jittery hands and pounding heart I'm tight from head to toe
Protected: Satan’s Laugh: Part 13 — Released
Protected: Satan’s Laugh: Part 12 — Rage
At Least it’s consistent
Plans tend to be a fairly regular topic on this blog. They have been a major part of my life. However, I am once again left to wonder why I bother.
Previously, I wrote about an opportunity I had to apply to be the EE department head at the Air Force Academy, and how that would interfere with the plans I had made to go back to the life I had left behind in Texas. That opportunity didn’t pan out, and I was grateful for that. I interpreted it a reason to hope that my original plans would work out. … Read the rest
Protected: Satan’s Laugh: Part 11 — Shame Hangover
Protected: Satan’s Laugh : Part 10 – Detoured
Plans
Purposeless motion is chaos That ends right where it began Wasting both time and effort When expended without any plan Planning gives sense of direction Providing a goal to achieve Setting a clear objective And something in which to believe But plans have a transient nature That shift with the altering tides Changing the traveled direction Till my plans and future collide And the end point I had longed for Falls victim to what must be So sadly I concede defeat And forcefully subjugate me