We did it. Elizabeth and I have started our own business, and I have walked away from a job for which I was well qualified but that I found unsatisfying and often distasteful. At this point, Elizabeth and I are working like mad and juggling each other’s time to balance Michael’s needs, the general needs of maintaining a household, and our need to focus on getting the materials put together that we need to formally launch a few courses come August.
The transition has not been without its challenges. The loss of my former paycheck represents about a 60% cut in take-home income, but we have mostly adjusted. It’s a loss, but one we can live with. I have had to adjust to working from home, but that has been remarkably easy. Elizabeth has had to adjust to balancing another demand on her time in an already saturated schedule while figuring out how to leverage the fact that I’m available to help now. Michael has had to adjust to the fact that Mom and Dad do things differently, that he has to go to Dad for help when Mom’s working, and that he can’t always run to Mom when he doesn’t like the way Dad does something. I’ve had to adjust to the fact that I can’t get away with spending all day working or else Elizabeth won’t be able to get her end of the business done. Overall, though, the transition has gone incredibly smoothly.
I like being home during the day and available to help. I like working on things I find mostly interesting, and more importantly, things that I chose to do. I enjoy being able to decide for myself what the priorities are. I like working together with Elizabeth to make what I produce better.
At this point, we are actively working on building online course ware. It’s a daunting task. Most of the time, the challenge is exciting and motivating. Today, however, I feel a little overwhelmed. The tasks ahead look no more difficult than they did before. My progress has been as I expected it. I don’t have a good reason based on the content or progress of the work to feel different today than I did a few days ago. But in spite of all that, I am in a bit of a low spot.
Low spots like this were super common before I quit working for “the man.” They were more or less the norm. However, I’ve had a happy reprieve for the last several months, and I fear their return as a regular part of my psyche. Even a few days of this has taken a pretty good toll on my generally improving mental health.
Hopefully a few more days of good tangible progress will be enough to break the cycle and set me back up and on my feet for a good long endurance run.