A little while ago, I came across a picture on the internet that showed a garage where the door had been opened to reveal a wall of snow completely filling the opening, and a snow blower sitting in the garage. On the wall of snow there were three letters in spray paint — FML. Shorthand for the rather crude phrase, “Fu*k My Life.” At the time I chuckled. All of us have that thought from time to time, I expect. Most people don’t actually believe it.
Unfortunately, much of the time I think that thought and mean it. At the … Read the rest
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything outside of my day job. Life has been too busy and challenging to spend much time on anything other than getting from point A to point B. I expect I’ll write more on that later, when the terms of my probation/conditional release/whatever are actually expired and I am free to fully speak my mind. In the meantime, I’m saving a few thoughts for later.
As I write this, the world is deeply immersed in the mass-panic that is COVID-19. In the last week or so, politicians too scared to accept the risk … Read the rest
Driving drunk is dangerous. Writing or saying anything while angry sometimes rises to that same level.
Drive to be productive,
Time to be creative,
Focus to be innovative.
Success that pushes forward,
Progressing toward complete,
Till the vision is realized.
And now it stands finished,
But no one but me cares to see -
My voice doesn't matter here.
Creation stalls out cold,
Wasted work mocks new hope,
And shouts it's nothing new.
(2018) I just received my first rejection letter from a queried literary agent. Milestone achieved. Now, the wait to see if there are any who think my attempt at a novel could possibly be profitable.
(January 2019): Make that three, and the time has elapsed where I’m extremely unlikely to hear back from any of the others. Looks like a failed attempt all around. I guess I just overestimated my ability.
(October 2019): I decided to submit to a new list of potential agents. Same result as before. A few summary rejections. The rest was silence. I’m giving up on … Read the rest
I have been to the mountain
And seen through the crystalline air
The valley below shrouded in fog
And the goal that lies just beyond
I have wandered the paths of the valley
Groping through gray of the mists
Feeling for wayposts and markers
Hoping to progess without knowing how
I can stand above and know the way
Or go below and press the path
But never both.
About a year ago, I started writing a story after a strong impression. It wasn’t a particularly happy story – it was a story that was initially meant to condemn the blood-lust and military adventurism that has characterized American politics for the last 80ish years. As I put the pieces together, it gelled around a protagonist who experienced some of the darkest aspects of conflict. I found writing it to be very difficult. However, I kept writing it as a means of sharing emotions and difficulties I couldn’t share otherwise. It was a sensationalized and amplified retelling of stuff I … Read the rest
I’ve spent the last three years trying to decide if it was worth it to be on Facebook or other social media platforms. There have been times it let me know about major life events for friends and family I wouldn’t have known about otherwise. It has allowed me to keep in touch with folks who would have otherwise been lost in the chaos that has been the last 20 years. However, it has also been the cause of waste and unhappiness.
A while ago, I wrote about a decision to cut way back on it (https://www.diligent5.org/?p=2069). As … Read the rest
I can't give reason
It doesn't matter though
Jittery hands and pounding heart
I'm tight from head to toe
Plans tend to be a fairly regular topic on this blog. They have been a major part of my life. However, I am once again left to wonder why I bother.
Previously, I wrote about an opportunity I had to apply to be the EE department head at the Air Force Academy, and how that would interfere with the plans I had made to go back to the life I had left behind in Texas. That opportunity didn’t pan out, and I was grateful for that. I interpreted it a reason to hope that my original plans would work out. … Read the rest