Harry the zoo hippochondriac
was a wonderful pain in the butt.
The zookeepers all sat and wondered
what went on there inside of his nut.

He never went out 
to enjoy the warm sun,
and never would venture
to swim, play, or run.

He'd moan and he'd groan
then flop hard in the hay,
convinced some zoo patron
had bubonic plague.

When spring cottonwoods bloomed
and sent tufts on the breeze,
he was sure that pneumonia 
was what made him sneeze.

Once a blob of dried mud 
stuck behind his left ear,
convinced him he'd cancer
and life's ending was