All posts by peter@diligent5.org

Cyclical

Drive to be productive,
Time to be creative,
Focus to be innovative.

Success that pushes forward,
Progressing toward complete,
Till the vision is realized.

And now it stands finished,
But no one but me cares to see -
My voice doesn't matter here.

Creation stalls out cold,
Wasted work mocks new hope,
And shouts it's nothing new.

Rejection

(2018) I just received my first rejection letter from a queried literary agent.  Milestone achieved.  Now, the wait to see if there are any who think my attempt at a novel could possibly be profitable.

(January 2019):  Make that three, and the time has elapsed where I’m extremely unlikely to hear back from any of the others. Looks like a failed attempt all around. I guess I just overestimated my ability. 

(October 2019): I decided to submit to a new list of potential agents. Same result as before. A few summary rejections. The rest was silence. I’m giving up on … Read the rest

The view

I have been to the mountain
And seen through the crystalline air
The valley below shrouded in fog
And the goal that lies just beyond
 
I have wandered the paths of the valley 
Groping through gray of the mists
Feeling for wayposts and markers
Hoping to progess without knowing how
 
I can stand above and know the way
Or go below and press the path
But never both.

Stuck

About a year ago, I started writing a story after a strong impression. It wasn’t a particularly happy story – it was a story that was initially meant to condemn the blood-lust and military adventurism that has characterized American politics for the last 80ish years. As I put the pieces together, it gelled around a protagonist who experienced some of the darkest aspects of conflict. I found writing it to be very difficult. However, I kept writing it as a means of sharing emotions and difficulties I couldn’t share otherwise. It was a sensationalized and amplified retelling of stuff I … Read the rest

I did it

I’ve spent the last three years trying to decide if it was worth it to be on Facebook or other social media platforms. There have been times it let me know about major life events for friends and family I wouldn’t have known about otherwise. It has allowed me to keep in touch with folks who would have otherwise been lost in the chaos that has been the last 20 years. However, it has also been the cause of waste and unhappiness.

A while ago, I wrote about a decision to cut way back on it (https://www.diligent5.org/?p=2069). As … Read the rest

At Least it’s consistent

Plans tend to be a fairly regular topic on this blog. They have been a major part of my life. However, I am once again left to wonder why I bother.

Previously, I wrote about an opportunity I had to apply to be the EE department head at the Air Force Academy, and how that would interfere with the plans I had made to go back to the life I had left behind in Texas. That opportunity didn’t pan out, and I was grateful for that. I interpreted it a reason to hope that my original plans would work out. … Read the rest

Plans

Purposeless motion is chaos
That ends right where it began
Wasting both time and effort
When expended without any plan

Planning gives sense of direction
Providing a goal to achieve
Setting a clear objective
And something in which to believe

But plans have a transient nature
That shift with the altering tides
Changing the traveled direction
Till my plans and future collide

And the end point I had longed for
Falls victim to what must be
So sadly I concede defeat
And forcefully subjugate me

A Cheap Gun — or not

Almost 10 years ago I was in Florida with orders to move to Alaska the following summer. Excited at the prospect, I decided that one thing I wanted to do up there was hunt bear and moose, so naturally I went to the gun store looking for a rifle capable of taking that kind of game.

At the time, I wasn’t all that well versed in guns. I had lots of experience shooting with my family and with the military, but I had never spent the time to become particularly familiar with the ins and outs of hunting rifles. The … Read the rest